AN ART SHOW BY JILL PEELER
I Only Show You What I Want You to See
What we see on the outside is only part of someone’s story.
Bringing the conversation into the room.
What we carry beneath the surface
I have learned that people can show us one part of themselves while carrying much more underneath. Someone can laugh, do their job, and take care of everyone around them while holding things they have never said aloud.
Shame. Guilt. Grief. A sense of responsibility for something they could not control.
Sometimes it is the thought that if they had arrived one second earlier, they could have saved a life. The mind returns to that moment, searching for a different ending.
We may see someone who looks like they are doing fine. We may not see the questions they carry home.
Why I wanted to start the conversation sooner
After sitting through so many debriefings following the suicide of a colleague, I knew I wanted to be more proactive in my work. I wanted to build relationships before people were facing a crisis.
I wanted people to know me through ordinary conversations, with time to learn a name, share a laugh, and get to know the person behind the uniform.
This show is an invitation to look beyond what someone lets us see and make room for what has been difficult to talk about. It is also a reminder that we do not have to wait for someone to be struggling before we begin building a relationship.
No one should carry the blame for another person’s death. We cannot change every outcome. We can listen without judgment, make support easier to reach, and help people feel less alone.
A community willing to begin the conversation
In partnership with the Novato Police Department, I brought together suicide awareness training and the art show I Only Show You What I Want You to See. The portraits invited people to look beyond what is visible. The training gave us time to listen, learn, and talk about the things that can be difficult to say aloud.
People attended from CHP, San Rafael Police Department, Cotati Police Department, Hayward Fire Department, Novato Police Department, and other surrounding agencies. It was an opportunity to connect across departments and begin building relationships before a crisis.
The voices that helped bring us together
Thank you to the Novato Police Department’s Chief, Shaunna Murtha Edwards, LCSW, representing FRSD, Captain Chris Parent, and Chaplain Colonel Joanne Martindale, who spoke about moral injury.
A special thank you to our host, Sergeant Melissa Hinkle, and to the Novato Police Department for making this training possible.
To every speaker, participant, and person who joined us: thank you for showing up and making space for this conversation.
Trust comes before crisis.
We cannot know everything someone is carrying. We can give them a reason to believe they do not have to carry it alone.